


Memories

by perfectchaosovesharmony



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Cursed Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time), Cursed Memories, Gen, Guilt, Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time)-centric, Henry has PTSD from his cursed memories, Henry has issues, Henry has three lives worth of memories now, Hyperion Heights, Lucy is a kid and doesn't understand PTSD, Mentions of Storybrooke family, Panic Attacks, Post-HH Curse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Survivor Guilt, Text Messages, basically stuff the show will never address about Henry, cursed flashbacks, just because of these I gave it a +13 rating but I'll try not to go too heavy, mainly about Henry, more characters involved just that the Mills are centric, tries to stick by canon as best as possible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 20:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13489071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectchaosovesharmony/pseuds/perfectchaosovesharmony
Summary: After the curse breaks, Henry learns of the price he must pay.Or,Henry Mills has three-lives worth of memories crammed into his head and he must live with all of them.





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this story will hopefully be split into a few parts (chapters) since I really wanted to explore this subject over a length of time and I find it really interesting. Basically, this is a scenario of how Henry is affected by having three-lives worth of memories in his head, how he struggles to cope and eventually learns to live with the trauma these curses have given him. Henry, in this story at least, is suffering from a degree of PTSD and Survivors Guilt, while still being plagued with his cursed memories. It may get heavy, so I'd like to just give a warning in case you are sensitive to any subjects addressed in this.

 

It had been a slip of the tongue, a simple little mistake that honestly no ordinary person would find peculiar in the slightest. A tad awkward, sure... but it was a common enough thing that a simple apology and correction would correct.

But that being said, Henry could say for certain that no one within his family could exactly fit the definition of _normal_. Nevertheless, the air seemed to thicken at the sound of it. It had taken him one word to silence all of those around them, one word to set the tension high, glances burnt through the back of his head as he headed through the door of Ron- no, _his mother's_... Regina's bar.

The coldness of the Seattle evening forced his hands deep into his pockets, having quickly torn the worn jacket over his shoulder, as he wandered his way down the empty street, traffic alluded to life existing elsewhere as he yanked his collar further up against his jaw. How could he? After everything that had happened to them, to Lucy?

He had called her Abigail.

It had been a mistake, an error he hadn't even registered until he noticed the tightness of his mother's lip, the confusion in Lucy dark eyes as she frowned slightly, unsure of the name and it's meaning, well... to _him_. He had told his mother – Roni, at the time of course, but still. And he knew from her expression, a slight widening of eyes that flashed with uncertainty, a sadness as he swallowed the name back down, that she had not forgotten.

Henry quickened his pace, hard steps sent an ache through his legs as he braced the cold, his muscles sore but sure of their destination. The spare key felt cold within his trouser pocket, sharp against his thigh as if it didn't belong, clipped onto his several key-chains including Emma's swan and the keys to his own apartment. His _old_ apartment, he corrected as his eyes flickered down, picking the key out and inserting it into the hole. The click almost startled him, his heart belted within his chest as he swung the door open.

He groaned, tossing his keys aside as he made his way to the couch before practically collapsing onto it, the wooden frame creaked as if his weight was an uncertainty, a phenomenon that shouldn't be so recent. As if he didn't belong...

A low hum shoved the thought away, clenching his teeth as he plunged into his pocket and yanked out his phone out of his pocket before finding his face cast in a piercing light. He blinked, scanning over the three missed calls from Jacinda – _Ella_ , he still hadn't changed his own wife's name back yet! Nor his mother's, with a text from 'Roni' sending a familiar curl to his lip.

 

' _ **Ella said u weren't feeling good, do u want me to come over**_ **?** '

 

He could almost feel the sense of dread flood back into him immediately, scanning over the words again and again before gathering enough courage to muster a brisk reply.

 

**'No thx. Just a bit funny, be fine. Tell Ella & Lucy 2 not worry.'**

 

He could all but feel the dissatisfied glare of his mother against the text as another greeted him a moment later, wincing as another arrived after another moment past. The brightness of the screen sent a sense of nausea down into his stomach, despite having known it his whole life, while not as high-tech... or had he? Had he a computer...?

 

**'U Sure? I can at least come by when Ella Tia & Lucy come home.'**

 

He sighed, making quick work that he prayed to be enough, with his eyes had begun to ache.

 

**'Nah. Mom, I'll be fine by tomorrow w/ some sleep, night. Luv u & make sure Lucy doesn't have 2 much sugar!'**

 

Her reply came back after a moment or two, the lack of resolve to push forward, maybe even offer one of his childhood remedies (or had she been the one to give him those? Had it been Emma or... what had been his carers name?) had pushed his hopes to possible acceptance or understanding. The hum came a slight bit longer than usual, the words short and to the point, as if considered and thought over begrudgingly.

 

**'Okay. Luv u 2, will tell girls to be quiet when coming home & better get an update in morning. Night.'**

 

A sense of relief washed over him, tossing his phone aside to the coffee table as he leaned his head against the arm of the sofa. He didn't have the determination to get into the actual bed – Ella's bed during the curse that thankfully, was a double. He could imagine the chirping of birds, not overcast by the blaring traffic on the street below, his wife pressed into his chest and their little girl snuggled firmly between them in a method to ease nightmares.

His smile, drawn on by the faintness of dark, chocolate curls cast golden in the sun that sunk through their curtains, seemed to fade. The sight, while fond and stroking a warm place within him, also seemed to make a cold shiver run through him. He pursed his lips, shoving away the memory before he felt the heat of the blaze on his skin... _no, it wasn't right._

 _They were fine. Happy, safe and enjoying time with family. They were safe... there was no fire, it wasn't real_ The room seemed to narrow, lock away any doors that offered escape as he gripped the fabric of the couch tighter, clawing at it. He drew his legs in closer to his chest. He could smell the smoke, whispering words of confusion, of hurt... _no! He hadn't betrayed them, he hadn't forgotten them and found a replacement – he_ _ **did**_ _love them!_

Henry forced himself not to gasp for breath, the thoughts... the fears vanished from his mind as quickly as they entered, leaving a cold sweat running down his back as he pressed it tightly against the body of the couch, pushing away from the edge as if it led to an abyss he would never return from. His head ached, but that did nothing as he was soon lured into unconsciousness, his legs stretched out he kicked off his shoes. 

Memories of skyscrapers, of the largest house at the end of a long street, of a forest with a floor made of purple flowers and the coldness he felt as he watched another gleeful child drive away intoxicated his dreams.

 

 


End file.
